Marriages are said to be made in heaven. It is often said (especially in Bollywood movies), “Jodi to upar wala banata hai!” but doesn’t that sound controversial? If that would have been the case, then divorces, remarriages and extra marital affairs would never have occurred.
Marriage is a sanctity wherein two individuals along with their families profess love and compatibility to each other in a lavish ceremony to showcase their social standing amongst the distant relatives. In earlier times, this love and compatibility was professed incoherently mostly between the families but with the evolution of education, financial independence and Bollywood sagas, individuals have finally got a say in selection of their own spouses.
Love marriage is still considered a taboo in many regions of India. Heinous crimes like honor killing, murders, rapes are committed to avenge the disdainful act of choosing their own life partner on the pretext of gotra, caste, religion and social status. Arranged marriages also have cons like dowry deaths, incompatibility issues, extra marital affairs etc. Then guys, how come marriages are solemnized by God! Even if it was God’s will, then why do these crimes and divorces happen? Is there some miscalculation in our Almighty’s calculator that ‘+’ and ‘+’ also become ‘-‘.
As per recent surveys and few inputs contributed by local aunties, following are major reasons for divorces:
Female empowerment: In earlier times, girls always compromised and bore all whims and fancies of their husbands and his family. But with education and financial independence, they are no more ready to bear the brunt.
Lack of patience and perseverance: Patience and perseverance is very important for marital cord. When two potentially independent individuals coexist, clashes are bound to happen. It is required of these individuals to give each other enough space and welcome this change with patience and perseverance.
Lack of compatibility: Compatibility issues are major problems in marital discord. It is of utmost importance to complete each other and be respectful of other’s opinion. A narcissist and an altruist mostly cannot co-habitate for long due to varied difference of opinion.
Intermittent interference of families: The boy’s family has the notion that the girl is trying to create a rift between them whereas the girl’s family is over possessive of her well being in a new environment. If the couple is not mature enough to handle these pressures from their families, eventually clashes will happen due to varied interests.
Infidelity: Infidelity is one of the primary reasons for divorces. People tend to give in to temptations outside marriage and end up breaking the trust of their spouse. Trust once broken can never be mended.
Undue and excessive expectations: As it is said “expectations have no limits”. Thanks to Bollywood movies, the level of professing love has been highly overrated. Expensive gifts, lavish houses, over the top intimacy and melodramatic ladies have actually disillusioned our generation. People connect with these filmy gimmicks so much that they disdain the virtual reality.
Ego Clashes: When ego flies high, rationality takes a backseat. When two people of similar standing communicate, ego is bound to play devil. Ego and self respect have a very minor difference. Self respect at the cost of other’s feeling is ego. In today’s era, no one is ready to bow down or surrender. Blinded by their egoistical behavior, love often falls short and discord strikes.
Lack of sexual intimacy: Marriage is said to be ‘the licence to sexual intimacy’. When it is not up to one’s desired level or likeness, a disconnect is developed which hampers the smooth functioning of marriage.
So, may be God is not to be blamed entirely. It’s human to err. Human beings often give in to these weaknesses and break the lifelong bond.